Selected quotes from research participants


  • “Most of the time she [partner] does the house chores … while I do the manly duties like, maybe washing the car. Also, sometimes I do go for groceries, and I also do paint jobs in the house.” – Wayne
  • “The man is the head of the family….he is responsible for the relationship being equitable.” – Philip


  • “Before there were conflicts where … my girlfriend, she felt like she was cooking more often than I was, which was true … how we resolved that was we’ll schedule days ahead of time. For example, if you cook three days, I cook three days. Then I think by having a more rigid schedule like that, more quantifiable schedule, we were able to sort of divide it more equally.” – Muyang
  • “She [partner] doesn’t like my cooking straight up. She doesn’t like meat and potatoes … And I like her cooking. So, it’s not a matter of needing her to cook. It’s a matter of we’re both happy with the result … It’s just whatever you’re best at. – Leo


  • “It requires work to be a person who has an equitable relationship. It requires self-reflection, reflection on our society, reflection on what you want as a person, what your partner wants as a person, and it requires a lot of emotional introspection to develop a relationship that is equitable, safety where vulnerability is treasured, where intimacy is built in.” – Justin
  • “I was speaking with my partner a month ago and she told me that … now it’s a triple burden [for women], because you have to be a good mom, a good worker, and a beautiful woman at the same time … So, it’s becoming more of a burden for women, as I see, and it’s highly dependent on the social policy of the country.” – Ahmet

All names have been changed to protect individuals’ privacy.