UBC Reports | Vol. 49 | No. 4 | Apr.
Who Iz Nardwuar The Human Serviette?
Hes MuchMusic TVs guerrilla interviewer
Ed.s Note: If you are a celebrity, you might call
him a scourge. He would enjoy that, however. This guerilla
journalist has stormed press conferences to ask Mikhail Gorbachev
which world leader wears the biggest pants, director Oliver
Stone which cheddar he prefers -- American or Canadian, and
televangelist Ernest Angley whether or not theres a
cure for the summertime blues. If you missed those interviews
you may remember the post-APEC press conference where Prime
Minister Jean Chretien responded to his question about people
being maced with pepper spray with the now famous line: For
me, pepper, I put it on my plate. In his submission
to UBC Reports Nardwuar, one of UBCs most colourful
graduates, tells us how it all began.
I, Nardwuar the Human Serviette, hate math, but I love numbers!
Especially the digits that come together to create 1986,
the year I entered the University of British Columbia. I guess
to some I only lasted in proper university for
two days. Proper university? That to me is like going to class,
studying and doing nothing else. No, I am not a dropout; I
graduated from UBC in the fall of 1990 with a BA in Canadian
History. What happened to me? Well, lets lay the blame
on the bands UB40 and the Fine Young Cannibals!
On my second day of university they played UBCs War
Memorial Gymnasium. Before the gig my buddies and I wanted
to get wasted! Being 18 and all, it wasnt going to happen
in the Student Pub; however, maybe it would happen at the
Beer Garden being hosted by CiTR fM 101.9, UBC Radio! So with
the promise of the olde ale we wandered into the
Student Union Buildings Party Room for CiTRs
Brews-cast! Needless to say, I was served no problem.
Except there was just one hitch: I was pressured into joining
the station! Well not exactly pressured but encouraged to
join possibly the greatest radio station in the world! Me?
A teenage zit loser? Yes! All the training would be provided
and I didnt just have to be a DJ., I could do news,
sports, arts, mobile sound DJ-ing, production, or writing
for the stations program guide, Discorder. Or, I could
even do as little as eating my lunch in the CiTR lounge! There
were so many ors! The fine folks at CiTR
then gave me a membership form and told me to bring it back
the next day. And that day was my third day of university!
My third day of university!! And that is when it
all changed! I joined CiTR! I think its the greatest
thing Ive ever done in my life! Hell, it is my life!
I ate lunch in the CiTR Lounge for a year before I got a
radio show. But there was no rush! Little did I know that
through CiTR I would be able to interview everyone from Mikhail
Gorbachev to Kurt Cobain, from Dan Quayle to Courtney Love,
from Timothy Leary to Ron Jeremy, from Iggy Pop to Jean Chretien,
from Snoop Doggy Dogg to Sloan, and from James Brown to Reveen!
All this through a campus station! Not some top 40 lame-ass
joint! No! Through the STUDENT, I repeat, STUDENT radio society!
Aside from the journalistic part, through CiTR
I have also met the nicest, warmest, kindest, people! Punks,
poets, preachers, yeah, yeah, yeah! Now it is time for you
to do the math dear readers. If a dweeb like me can still
be hooked on some campus club after 17 years, there must be
something stupid going on. Like you reading this! Baboom!
Now go out and join CiTR! Everyone is welcome.
CiTR celebrates 21 years of FM Broadcasting the weekend of
May 9th. Go to http://www.citreunion.com
for more information on the festivities taking place.